We will be destroyed by what we love
When my daughter was more than three years old, she suddenly began to sing many popular songs, which even I could not sing, and I did not specifically investigate where she learned them.
Until one day, I found that she was still out of harmony with her hands and eyes. She was holding her father's mobile phone, and her fingertips were nimble and sharp.
Her father disliked the trouble with her and taught her to play with her mobile phone. At the beginning, we restricted her use of mobile phones for her eyes' sake. It was later discovered that she was far more dependent on mobile phones than we thought.
She will steal the adult's mobile phone anytime and anywhere to play. As long as she sees the adult's action of turning on the phone, her eyes will sneak over to remember the password.
My daughter needed to learn piano when she was 5 years old. She bought a tablet computer for her. In addition to teaching her how to use piano software, we didn't teach her any skills. We naively thought that she was too young to use it.
When she was in the fifth grade, she found that her eyes were not quite right when she looked at things, but it was too late to take her to check. She was already nearsighted for more than 200 degrees, far more than me.
Looking for the tablet, I found that she learned to download a lot of software without a teacher, and could not extricate herself from it.
It is too late for me to regret that the negligence of adults has led to the serious consequences of children's poor eyesight.
In Neil Bozeman's book Entertainment to Death, he said that Huxley was most worried that we would destroy what we loved.
We have a defensive mentality towards things we hate.
But for the things we love, we are willing to pay great emotion, attention and time.
1、 The brain is a slacker, and instant gratification is its nature
Our brain is a slacker. It likes to take shortcuts and is satisfied with immediate feedback. It's better to stay still.
The brain only likes familiar people and things. Once it detects that you want to leave the comfort zone, it will feel dangerous, and immediately unite with the body to make a resistance response, which will make it difficult to persist in what we do.
For example, we want to eat sports meals and increase exercise to make our bodies better, but our brains will always go bad. We have to change ways to let us give up the choice, eat a hot pot or lie on the sofa after dinner, which will make it feel very happy.
Because our nature is like playing, like indulgence, easy to be lazy, so we will especially envy and admire self-discipline.
Those who can overcome nature are really amazing.
If we want to change our bad habits, we can set ourselves a goal that can be easily achieved every day, which will not burden the brain, so that the brain is willing to stick to it for a long time.
For example, if you want to get up early to learn, we can get up half an hour early, play with mobile phones, let the brain satisfy itself immediately, and slowly fix this habit. When the brain gets used to the rhythm of getting up early, we can use the time of getting up early for learning. At this time, the brain is willing to accept any difficult learning.
In this way, we can make progress little by little every day, which will make the brain form a virtuous circle.
The person who runs to the end may not be the fastest, but he or she will persist the longest.
2、 People who can't control themselves can never have the life they want
Someone said: Diligence can only determine the lower limit. What really determines the upper limit of the gap between people is whether you can focus on what you are doing for a long time.
This is also the quality that those excellent people really have.
Whether we can focus on one thing for a long time is also an important factor to open the gap between people.
All people with low learning efficiency and work efficiency have a puzzle.
It is a temptation for me to feel the wind and grass around the world as soon as I get to work.
The alert tone of a short message or the unimportant news pushed by a mobile phone will deprive us of our attention.
No matter how hard you try, you can't concentrate.
Many people's diligence is a waste of time, and they will be exhausted even if they are inefficient.
In Shi Yuzhu's biography, he mentioned that when he earned the first barrel of money, he just plunged into the student apartment of Shenzhen University. In addition to buying instant noodles next time a week, he stayed in front of the computer for 150 days and nights and wrote a word processing software that was once popular throughout the country.
I remember once seeing a blogger share that it is not difficult to learn a skill in a month.
Many people may not be able to learn in one or three years, because they have scattered their energy.
As long as you focus on doing something, you can learn it quickly.
Only by resisting external temptations and controlling our own attention can it stay on what we need to do.
3、 The apps you can't unload are all holes dug for you
You tell yourself that you like a short video platform because you can learn from it. Wake up, you are just kidding yourself.
Maybe we can learn some sporadic knowledge, but compared with books, those knowledge is not systematic and very little.
You're just addicted to those short videos.
In the public context, addiction is a less positive term. We will use addiction to describe many behaviors immersed in negative habits.
What do these addictions have in common?
They will directly affect the work of the brain, cause disorders of the nervous system, and further produce uncontrollable compulsive behaviors, such as continuous du bo, thirst for alcohol, and so on.
We are exposed to more soft addiction sources in our life, such as games, websites, videos, etc. They can not be ignored.
In addition to researching the development and application of APP, short videos also begin to study the psychology of audiences. They will speculate about when users will be stimulated and when they will feel satisfied?
Every seemingly ordinary interaction design on the platform has gone through many times of research and experiments to make users addicted to their products.
We certainly hope that we can devote more time, energy and money to more meaningful things, such as work, further education and even accompanying our families.
It's really difficult to quit addiction. We need to practice by ourselves to achieve the effect you want more effectively.
Write at the end
Luo Xiang said: "We will eventually destroy the things we love, and all those things that look great are instantaneous feelings, and all the real happiness of human beings must be permanent efforts."
Dopamine will activate the reward mechanism in the brain and make people feel happy. The more dopamine is released, the more the brain will want something.
Short videos, junk food, tobacco, alcohol and games are easy to access and unlimited, so they can easily make us addicted.
We give up freedom because we are addicted to pleasure. We like to use knowledge when we get it, and we like to get the answers we want without thinking.
But only true happiness can save the emptiness after extreme addiction.
Then replace this road with another one.
Set yourself a goal with a sense of happiness. With the mentality of playing games, let life go up one level at a time, just like fighting monsters.
For example, reading a book and realizing a truth is to reward yourself.
You can also give your brain an instant reward, a candy or a 10 minute rest. As long as you like, dopamine likes it.
Change your focus so that you feel differently.
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