There are three significant differences between children who cry easily and those who endure not crying as they grow up

On the amusement park in the community, a few children were playing, and the treasure mothers happily gathered together to talk about family life. Suddenly, a little boy came crying from among the children to find his mother and asked for the reason. It turned out that he had wet his pants while playing, and his mother immediately shouted at the child. What is there to cry about? Aren't you afraid of being laughed at by others?

Seeing his mother's fierce expression, the little boy restrained himself from crying again.

So this mother and other precious mothers started chatting, saying that their children love to cry too much, they can easily cry over a small matter, and what to do when the boy's parents are old? They are not strong at all, and they are worried to death.

Qingqing's mother said, "My daughter doesn't cry that much. Last time in kindergarten, her face was scratched by other children and she didn't say a word. The teacher didn't even notice it. I only found out when I saw it when I came home from school, and I didn't take the initiative to tell me. I was also worried about it.

My son also loves to cry, "said Doudou's mother." He just started kindergarten this year, and when he was delivering to the kindergarten in the first few days, he cried heartrendingly. The teachers hugged and coaxed him to adapt for several days, and it took them some time to relax. Many other children and teachers don't have to worry about it. They sit there obediently to eat and watch cartoons. Mom doesn't cry or make a scene when she leaves.

Most parents may be resistant to the fact that their children are prone to crying, because in their eyes, crying represents weakness, lack of understanding, lack of independence, and incompetence.

On the contrary, I feel that children who endure problems without crying are stronger, more independent, and calm.

In fact, children with these two different emotional expressions will have significant differences in three aspects in the future.

Due to the fact that crying is considered a bad behavior by many people, when faced with children crying and crying, many parents feel bored and angry, often shouting at their children in an attempt to prevent them from continuing to cry.

In fact, for children, crying is just an expression of emotional expression, because children are not yet able to see and handle problems rationally, and even cannot express themselves well. They can only use crying to express their needs and helplessness.

But parents will label their children's tendency to cry with many labels indicating negative qualities and find ways to change their behavior. In the end, the child may not cry much, but it doesn't resolve the emotions, it just suppresses them.

Parents may not expect that in the future, children with these two different behavioral behaviors will have the following three differences:

● Different emotional perception abilities

A normal person cannot have only good emotions without bad ones.

There is a term in psychology called the "pendulum effect", where a clock swings to the left or right, which is equivalent to the fact that a person's emotions are influenced by different external stimuli and can also have two directions, positive and negative.

The amplitude of a clock's swing is equivalent to people's ability to feel emotions. If you have a stronger ability to feel emotions in one direction, then your ability to feel emotions in the opposite direction will also be stronger. Can strongly feel hate and sorrow, and also have a strong ability to feel love and happiness. The larger the amplitude, the stronger the sensory ability, and the easier it is to swing and transform in the opposite direction.

On the contrary, if negative emotions are suppressed for a long time, and the negative emotions are suppressed to a small amplitude, then their ability to feel positive emotions will also be correspondingly reduced. When a person encounters sad things and no longer feels sad, then they will no longer be happy when they encounter happy things. Just like being anesthetized before surgery, losing all the good feelings while not feeling the pain.

Those children who are prone to tears are often able to cheer for other things soon after wiping away their tears. Even when they grow up, these children still have strong emotional sensitivity, and life is lively and hot for them.

And those who have endured not crying since childhood often become indifferent and numb to the outside world, with nothing that makes them particularly sad or joyful. As a result, life loses many colors.

● Different levels of physical and mental health

People who have been allowed to cry since childhood are first accepted and recognized by their parents for their negative emotions, and feel safe and free here. I will not suppress myself in life. When I am happy, I will be happy and happy, and when I am not happy, I will confidently express my dissatisfaction.

In this way, on the one hand, there will not be too many negative emotions accumulated in the heart that will cause harm to your body and mind. On the other hand, emotions can be clearly expressed, and people around you can discover and value your feelings. Only then can others know how to please you and where your inviolable bottom line is.

Children who resist crying are often kidnapped by their parents' morality when they want to cry. For example, crying represents not being sensible, not brave, or being laughed at by others. Over time, when children want to cry and express negative emotions, they will think that they should not express such emotions. They need to always show their understanding, friendliness, and excellence. Only in this way can they be a normal, noble, and recognized person, that is to say, He will engage in self moral kidnapping.

In this way, I have become a clever and sensible person who has no desires or desires, is considerate of others, and is understanding. However, I rarely pay attention to my inner needs, or even if I know what I want, I dare not or are unwilling to express and demand, making it difficult for others to care and take care of me. As a result, I feel a lot of grievances and emotions that have nowhere to release in my heart, until my body and mind are hurt or one day my emotions collapse.

Different psychological defense mechanisms

We have found that when interacting with people around us, some people are more outgoing and generous in their daily lives. They are more likely to open up to people they are close to or trust, treat them sincerely, and are willing to communicate with others. They are easy to understand and trust others, and they will enjoy interpersonal relationships very much.

And some people always feel that they wrap themselves tightly, even if they have known him for a long time, it is difficult to clearly feel his preferences or emotional changes, and they always feel that there is a distance between them, making it difficult to communicate with them.

This is the difference in psychological defense mechanisms.

People who are allowed to cry and boldly release their emotions from a young age are generally more likely to reveal their emotions, making others feel that this is a true person with flesh and blood, and they also live a real and free life.

People who have been forced to hide their tears and emotions since childhood will not easily display their emotions when interacting with others, because they feel that it is unsafe and they are afraid of being laughed at and criticized by others. They must ensure that the side they display is safe and not dangerous. Such people often live a more tiring life.

From the above description, we know that crying is an emotional expression for children. Simply letting children suppress crying and hold their emotions in their hearts is not a beneficial thing for children's development in all aspects.

When children cry to find you, we should stop shouting and mocking, and do the following things well:

● Soothing emotions

A child crying must have its own reasons, whether things are right or wrong, the first is that the child subjectively feels a need or grievance.

As parents, don't just shout and criticize when you come up. First, pay attention to your child's emotions and comfort them with hugs and caring language.

If the child keeps crying and cannot stop, parents should not be impatient. They can hold the child in their arms and let him cry for a while to fully vent their emotions. Make children feel safe in their hearts, and crying is also allowed. Regardless of the situation, parents are always there and will provide them with support and assistance.

● Understand the reason

After the child's emotions stabilize, parents communicate with the child, patiently inquire about the reason, and understand why the child is crying. During the inquiry process, if it is found that the child is wrong, do not rush to correct it and give the child the opportunity to express themselves.

● Problem solving

After asking the reason clearly, if it is the child's own problem, it is necessary to patiently explain, make the child realize the causal relationship of the matter, and explain to the child why it cannot be done like that.

If it is better for the child to solve the problem themselves, encourage them and express full trust and support for them.

If parents are needed to help solve the problem, parents should be patient and help their children without showing impatience.

Anyway, parents should remember that crying is an expression of a child's emotions, and should be viewed and handled correctly. It is advisable to be lax rather than blocked.

What do you think of children who are prone to tears and endure not to cry?

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